Bailey’s engagement to Jett was the beginning of an intense journey to complete “Giving Bailey Away.” The main event was, of course, their wedding, and the bar had been set very high by their engagement party on 27th April 2025, which concluded phase 1 of giving Bailey away. While I lamented that we hadn’t brought a minister to the engagement party and just got the wedding done there and then, I knew that Bailey was in charge and she would have none of that! For much of the subsequent 400 days, I was in the back seat of the preparations, which suited me, and below I share my unique perspective. It was only when I looked through all of the shower and wedding photos that I realized how much I had missed! Much of the account below is for my own memory, but I hope you enjoy it also.
Wedding Preparation
With a ring on her finger, Bailey immediately jumped into the detailed organizing, but what was my role? Janet and I were the wedding hosts, yet Bailey knew what she wanted down to a tremendous level of detail, fed by her experiences helping her future mother-in-law’s wedding planning business.
However, Bailey had yet to find a venue that she had fallen in love with. She set up a schedule for us to visit a list of venues. Several were fine and would have worked, but then we visited Sandlewood Manor. The large manor house, the beautiful and bright chapel, the functionally elegant ballroom, and the extensive grounds made this our obvious choice. The only availability that they had the following June was Saturday, June 6th, so the date was also set! The venue’s constraints regarding caterers and minimum bar package indirectly made several decisions for us while its vibe invigorated Bailey’s creative spirit.
For most of the next year, I was the spectator who was “on-call” as needed. In addition to the wedding prep, Bailey and Jett were working out how their new life together would work. Bailey graduated shortly after we chose Sandlewood Manor and the four of us enjoyed a fine trip around Italy. For the next ten months, little of my time was needed and Janet was required sporadically, so of course we made the most of it with two trips to England with friends and making the most of our new Motorhome with trips in the US along the Natchez Trace Parkway and to Bastrop State Park. I enjoyed backpacking adventures in Spain, Colorado, and Texas, giving me plenty of time to reflect! In October, our emerging extended-family-of-six had a great trip to Banff, where Samuel and Kylie got engaged, and Janet and I ended the year with a Christmas market trip to Prague.
Bailey lived and worked at home for a year after graduation, which was ideal for her to work on wedding planning details with Janet. They worked together on many projects, from the invitations to embroidered socks, enabling Bailey to deliver all of her details in a very personal and cost-effective manner.
The number of socks brought home how large Bailey’s wedding party was, with a mix of bridesmaids and a house party. Janet and I challenged ourselves to work out who each of the sixteen girls were. We were able to work out fifteen of the sixteen, but the initials “bm” had us stumped. We had to ask Bailey, and she exclaimed, “that’s me!” This was one of the most memorable moments of our preparation!
Kylie was well-aligned with Bailey’s vision and was a tremendous help, especially creating things with Janet’s Cricut!
The wedding prep brought these three lovely ladies closer in a special way.
I was given one project – making a freestanding seating chart. Bailey had found her inspiration and I needed to build it. As it would be located outside the ballroom, I had to ensure it would not get blown over. We would also have to transport it in our car! My set-building experience from high school theatre came in most useful. Fortunately, Jett was responsible for covering the pieces, so I did not have to worry about anything artistic!
As we approached the day, I could not help reflecting on the amount of effort and money that was going into this. However, we are not big party-throwers, and this was likely to be the only large party we ever threw, so we were happy to go “all-in” and make it a truly memorable evening. To prove that I had some control, I rejected one of Bailey’s requests, the signature cocktail.
The Final Countdown
The beginning of June brought “wedding week.” With so many moving parts, I went into logistics-planner mode. Samuel was flying in from Colorado and would need a car. The houseparty girls were staying at our house, so I got hotel rooms for Janet and I and Samuel. Coincidentally, I chose the same hotel that Janet and I were staying at 24 years earlier when we first discovered that Janet was pregnant with Bailey!
One of the final tasks I worked on was gathering and sorting the required tips. Uncertainty about this, coupled with the increasing stress as we approached the big day, developed a negative attitude in me. Fortunately, on June 4th, two days before the wedding, I listened to a segment on our local Christian radio station while I was running errands. One of their tag lines is “choose joy,” and I realized that I needed to make this choice! Fortunately, it came easily. Bailey had not only done an excellent job at planning all of the details, but she had also excelled at delegating everything in these last few days, including the big day, so that she wasn’t stressed. It was time to enjoy!
The festivities kicked off the evening before the wedding with the rehearsal, or welcome dinner. The rehearsal was to be held the following morning, so this was a dinner, skillfully hosted by the Motleys, for family and close friends. It was a great warm-up for the day. I had already decided I would not be taking lots of photos of the wedding festivities, so I only captured a few.
Wedding Day!
Janet had spent the night with Bailey at her matron-of-honor’s house, and Samuel had got to the hotel late, so I started the day with some quiet contemplative time to myself. I had already been warned by Bailey against any reference to the day being WW2’s D-Day (6 June), but the day’s forecast of heavy rain and storms reminded me of the parallel. However, I was feeling surprisingly relaxed and at peace, and spent some time feeding the koi fish at the hotel!
I smoothly accomplished my assigned tasks of transporting lots of decorations to the venue and picking up Chick-Fil-A for the wedding party. My next responsibility was walking Bailey down the aisle, so I enjoyed cruising around. A quick rehearsal was held in the chapel, made notable by the bridesmaid’s matching pajamas, how the groomsmen were the complete opposite, and that Bailey attended via Facetime!
The next several hours were prep time. As it took me about ten minutes to get ready, I spent a lot of time hanging out in the groom’s quarters, and even took a well-needed nap! The bride’s agenda had the “bride reveal to FOB (father-of-bride)” at 3:30pm, so I was ready! A big deal was being made of it, and I must admit that I was unsure how to act. As I had seen this day come together, and how Bailey had spent the year preparing for her life together with Jett, I was already so proud of how Bailey had grown into a fine woman. Of course, I thought that Bailey was absolutely beautiful in her dress, but I had already seen her inner beauty in action, which is what mattered more to me!
Just before the reveal, I knew that something was very wrong as a bridesmaid told me I needed to tell some Dad jokes to cheer Bailey up! Bailey had been unable to find the neck scarf that was part of her dress and was understandably very upset about it. We were unable to find it, but we agreed that she looked better without it! I shared my best Dad joke: “What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall?” “Dam!” Bailey held back her tears and I will claim it was my joke! Having done the reveal and the cheering up, we could take some photos.
Next was a intimate time when Bailey and Jett shared private vows with each other, with Jett still not allowed to look at his bride yet. I love how the picture below shows their raw joy and expectation of the day and their life together.
Janet and I were “free” for the next hour as the photographer got busy with Bailey and her wedding party. When we noticed guests starting to arrive, we saw that it was the perfect time to personally welcome them, so we headed over to the chapel. This was a special time. I believe it is untraditional, but as the wedding hosts, we had so little time to spend with our visiting friends and family, many of whom had travelled so far. About ten minutes before show time, the wedding planner suggested I head back to the manor house to escort my daughter. It was getting real!
Bailey had chosen “Gratitude” by Brandon Lake has her entry song. It was Jett’s favorite song, but Bailey had kept that as a surprise! The doors were opened at the line “So I throw up my hands” and in we went.
The Ceremony
This was it! There are many fine photos of the beautiful ceremony, but that is more Bailey and Jett’s story than mine, so I include only a small subset below.
When asked by Kevin, the minister, who was giving this woman to be wed, I clearly and loudly declared, “Her mother and I.” As Bailey’s parents, we only got to say those four words in the ceremony. I wanted to convey that both Janet and I were proud of both Bailey and Jett, were so happy that they had found each other, felt they were a perfect match, and wished them the very best life together.
Amongst all of the preparation, partying, and friends, this event is ultimately a marriage, a joining together of two in holy matrimony. The seriousness that I had approached this commitment had wisely steered me towards Janet. Almost all the message from Glenn, our minister to us on our wedding day, is in the blurry fog of my memory, and it was especially heartwarming that he was at Bailey’s wedding with his wife Danielle. On this occasion, I remembered more of Kevin’s message, especially his charge to the audience. By attending the ceremony, we were assuming the responsibility “to commit to doing everything in your power and relationship with the bride and groom to HELP ensure this marriage be successful.” Kevin very kindly gave me his notebook after the service, and encouraged me to share a copy of his notes, which I have below. As the father of Bailey’s best friend Alexae, Kevin’s personal knowledge of Bailey and Jett enabled him to lead a very special service, with the icing on the cake being Samuel reading the Scripture from 1 Corinthians 13.
The happy couple’s joy was reflected in my own joy, such that I danced a jig back down the aisle as Janet and I exited to This Will Be, which is used in Janet’s favorite movie, While You Were Sleeping.
It was then a great time for us to get some family photos.
I would have loved to have had a group photo of everyone we know who had come, but that wasn’t part of the plan!
The Cocktail Hour
After we were “released” by the photographer, we had about an hour before the main reception while more wedding photos were taken. Janet and I made the most of a bit of quiet together time by saying hello to the horses.
We were soon mingling with all of our guests in the manor house. We often separated, and I had the hardest time finding Janet again! It was as if her dress was camouflaged and I could not see her. For the first time in decades, I briefly mistook her twin sister Joyce for her!
We quickly realized that Joyce was wearing the same dress as Stephanie, one of Janet’s closest friends.
We were called into the ballroom and awaited the grand entrance of the bride and groom. I love the photo below which shows a proud momma and brother!
The Dance and the Speech
Bailey’s tight control on the day continued into the reception. They had not invited children, to prevent them becoming a distraction, and had only wanted a minimal number of speeches so that the dancing could start as soon as everyone had finished eating.
I got an early chance to dance with my daughter – the only chance of the evening! We danced to Steven Curtis Chapman’s Cinderella, and both of us tried and failed to avoid crying. Unlike in the song, we hadn’t rehearsed anything, but it was otherwise perfect!
One speech that could not be skipped was the father-of-the-bride speech.
I had started pulling together ideas more than a month before the day. I was treating this as the most important speech in my life! Fortunately, I found a great YouTube video that gave me most of the pointers I needed.
I iterated on the speech many times, made recordings, adjusted each version to make it the 5-7 minutes that Bailey had suggested! To make it “mine,” I included three photos that I’d turned into posters and were held up behind the couple at the appropriate moments. I did not reveal its contents to Bailey.
The first photo has been my favorite photo of Bailey for years. A copy of it was on her bedroom wall when she was young. I took it at Janet’s Mom’s house when Bailey was one month old. I’m so glad I was able to show it at her wedding, and everyone gave it an “aww.”
I described my second photo as “Bailey’s first love, which still endures.” It is almost a competition when Bailey and I are at a Mexican restaurant together: who can eat the most chips and salsa! It brings out that twinkle in her eyes!
The final photo took more effort. I knew that Bailey and Jett had met during their high school’s production of Beauty and the Beast. I had photographed the show, but there were not any photos with the two of them. I had a cute one of Bailey with Alexae as plates, and a separate one that showed a very determined Jett as a spoon. Through photo-editing magic, I cleaned them up and combined them.
And the Dish ran away with the Spoon!
My Father of the Bride Speech (Click the arrow to see it)
DEEP BREATH. SMILE. MICROPHONE HIGH. DON’T FIDGET.
As Bailey’s Dad, I want to share a few words about our beautiful daughter. Can you hear me in the back?
Firstly, Janet and I want to thank every one of you for coming to join us for this lovely celebration of Bailey and Jett’s marriage. It really means so much that you are here, with us, sharing your support for this joyous union.
Many of you have travelled far, from Louisiana, Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, Colorado, and even Washington State, and we thank you for the extra time that you have put in to be here to honor our daughter and her new husband.
I especially want to thank Janet for everything she has done for me and the joy she continues to inspire. One of the most important things she has done for me is bring Bailey into this world. Bailey has turned out to be such a fine young adult because of Janet’s loving parenting and her fine example of a Proverbs 31 woman.
Let’s go back to 2003. We dialed up to get on the Internet. LinkedIn was launched, though it was another four years until the iPhone arrived. J.K. Rowling released the sixth book in the Harry Potter series, The Order of the Phoenix. Closer to home, up the road in Austin at the time, the first North American tour of Mamma Mia was coming to town, but something far more important had our attention.
Bailey, I remember the awe I felt when I first held you in my hands, God’s miracle of birth. Just one month after your birth, you were already showing impressive style with your very first Easter outfit. <reveal photo>
It wasn’t long before Bailey was walking. She quickly showed her independence, displaying her Alpha characteristics, which I expect you are familiar with. After a few years, she fell in love for the first time, and as is evident today, that love has not left her: Chips and Salsa. <reveal photo>
Bailey insists that I don’t talk about her time in Middle School, and for the sake of retaining access to our future grandchildren, I certainly won’t show any photos from her “awkward years.”
However, Bailey blossomed as she moved on to high school. During her Junior year in February 2020, she was having the time of her life being a plate in Beauty and the Beast with her best friend, Alexae. Bailey caught the attention of a certain spoon, and Bailey realized a spoon was the perfect addition to chips and salsa! <reveal photo>
As we got to know Jett, we learned that we could not have hoped for a better spouse for Bailey.
Jay and Tracy – you raised a fine young Christian man, and Janet and I thank you so much for sharing your only son with our daughter. As you have said, Jett is as strong-willed and stubborn as Bailey, which is why they are the perfect match!
It is truly heartwarming to see Jett’s dedication to Bailey. During their college years, Jett proved his commitment in the number of times he travelled the hour-and-a-half from College Station and Waco. Bailey’s sorority sisters even recognized this, making Jett an honorary member of Alpha Phi, while Jett also learned a lot about Alpha Phi-Males.
From its beginning, their romance was not going to be hampered by things like a global pandemic. During our COVID lockdown, Bailey ostensibly stayed healthy by going on bike rides, when she was secretly meeting Jett between our houses.
Over the subsequent years, Janet and I have been blessed to spend a lot of time with Jett and Bailey, and it’s been fascinating to see how each of them can break each other’s stubbornness in ways that no one else can!
When you start your life together in Nashville, we advise you to get plugged into a Bible-believing church as a priority, and to always place your partner’s happiness above your own. Also, don’t let your combined stubbornness get the best of you and ask for help when you need it! And Bailey, you won’t go wrong if you emulate your mother. <present gift>
We love you both so much and pray for everlasting love and harmony, and for Godly wisdom in everything that you do.
I know that I speak for everyone here when I wish you a lifetime of health, laughter, and joy. Will everyone please raise their glasses to the bride and groom?
Bailey’s response speech was a surprise. She gave a heartfelt thanks to Janet, and then presented the bride’s bouquet to her!
Neither of us knew this was coming!
Bailey’s Speech to Janet (Click the arrow to see it)
Before we move on to the next part of the evening, I wanted to take a moment to recognize someone who has been one of the most important people in my life.
Growing up, my mom was the person I could always count on. She celebrated my successes, picked me up when things didn’t go as planned, and loved me through every stage of life. She taught me what kindness looks like, what strength looks like, and what unconditional love looks like.
As a little girl, I used to dream about my wedding day. I imagined the dress, the flowers, and the person I would marry. But one thing I never really thought about was how much it would mean to have my mom by my side through it all.
Over the past months of planning, she’s listened to my ideas, helped me make decisions, calmed my stress, and shared in every bit of excitement. But even more than that, she spent years preparing me for this day without even realizing it. She showed me what a loving family looks like and helped shape me into the person standing here today.
Traditionally, there’s a bouquet toss at some point in the evening. But instead, I’d like to dedicate my bouquet to a woman who has already found love and who has spent her life sharing that love with everyone around her.
Mommy, thank you for every sacrifice you made, every lesson you taught me, every hug, every phone call, and every moment you’ve been there when I needed you. No amount of flowers could ever fully express how grateful I am for you, but I hope this bouquet serves as a small reminder of how deeply you are loved and appreciated.
So tonight, I would like to present my bouquet to my mom.
I love you. Thank you for helping me become the woman I am today.
Everyone, please join me in giving my mom a round of applause.
The Rest of the Evening
The dance floor was opened and a merry time was had by all! Janet and I were determined to visit all of the tables to chat to our guests, but we only made it about 1/3 of the way around the room. We wish we had taken many more photos with friends and family! A few group photos are worth including here.
Max was a great supporter during the reception, continuously checking on what I might need!
Thank you to our friend David for capturing Janet’s mom dancing, joined by his wife Dianna.
There was the grand farewell!
However, the end of the party is the beginning of the clean up. We had lots of help so it went quickly, but I mostly remember how hot and humid it was! After I loaded the last box into our car and walked around the venue to check, I realized that everyone else had finished and left!
It Isn’t Over Until Its Over
Shortly after getting back to our hotel room and ready to collapse on our bed, Janet received a phone call from Kylie. In our house with Bailey’s house party, Kylie was keeping things organized, and couldn’t find the owner of a purse. On checking inside, she realized that it was Bailey’s with her passport, which she needed for her honeymoon! They texted Bailey, so as not to disturb her, but put her mind at ease if she thought she’d lost it. Janet and Kylie also arranged for Samuel to bring the passport to the hotel, and put it in our room via the connecting door between our rooms. Near miss number one avoided!
About an hour later, I had just nodded off when Janet sat upright and exclaimed “marriage certificate!” She had to arrange for it to be registered, but she had not received it. The following morning when we picked up Bailey and Jett to take them to the airport, we realized that Kevin had omitted signing it! We had a busier morning than expected, but we got the newlyweds to the airport and got the marriage certificate signed.
Peru
What? This was not the honeymoon destination, which was Tulum. In January, Janet and I had been invited by our contact, Ashley, at Compassion International to visit Peru for a week to see their ministry in action. This was something we had been yearning to do. When Ashley said that the departure date was June 8th, we both looked at each other, quickly worked out that it was two days after the wedding, and decided we would go! The timing worked really well, and our trip to Peru with Compassion was fantastic.
Moving to Nashville
I might have given Bailey away, but one task remained: moving her out of our house! Jett’s new job was in Nashville, and Bailey was able to transfer with her employer. They had already packed up most of their stuff, including loading the fragile stuff into our car. A large trailer was loaded, and Jett’s parents towed it, taking two days while we managed the journey in one.
We squeezed into our car with lots of stuff. It was time for another fun road trip!
Soon we were at their new townhouse in Nolensville, just a little south of Nashville.
After helping them for a couple of days, I completed the tasks that I was assigned, like hanging the TV, and they were ready to be on their own. We returned at the beginning of August during a three-week motorhome trip, and they had continued to settle in well.
Reflection
“Giving Bailey Away” was certainly an adventurous journey! I can attempt to summarize it with three photos.
First, how Bailey had grown and matured. Recently at home, I saw an old photo of Bailey and I in our digital photo frame that cycles through photos of our kids’ childhood. The photo was from when Bailey and I were in our church’s Christmas production in 2014. I smiled at how similar the pose and framing were to a wedding photo, and how much each of us have changed in 11 1/2 years.
Second, there is this photo from the wedding day. When I look at Bailey’s face, I see her saying “Dad, we’ve got this.” I know my place!
Finally, there is this photo of Janet and I from the wedding day. We got very few photos of just the two of us as we had a few other things to worry about! The photographer took this towards the end of the evening. It captures our thoughts very well. We were able to give Bailey the wedding she wanted, though she had provided the secret sauce with her ideas and efforts. She had chosen a great husband. They will be OK.
Bailey and Jett have made a great start to their married life, securing good jobs and setting up a fantastic little home in a new town. They have prioritized getting plugged into a church, where Bailey is already volunteering with the children’s ministry.
Giving Bailey Away – Complete! However, is it ever really completely done?
