Giving Bailey Away: Phase 1

I didn’t think “The Lying Can Finally Stop” was the best title for my daughter’s engagement story. While this phrase had been lurking in the back of my mind until Jett escorted his new fiancée into the party room, it was quickly overwhelmed by joy from seeing their ecstatic smiles while sharing the moment with close family and friends.

I hesitate to describe such an occasion with even a hint of negativity, but it was an essential part of this adventurous mini-journey. After five years in the making, Jett started talking about his proposal a few months ago. His mission was for it to be everything Bailey dreamed of. Of course, Bailey had a Pinterest board with inspiration and a color pallet. If that wasn’t enough, it had to be a surprise!

We have seen more of our future son-in-law over the last couple of years than our daughter, so it was natural to work on this together. Research projects ranged from hiking in Memorial Park and the Arboretum (ideas nixed) to sampling The Coffee House at West End which is nearly 100 years old. Janet and Jett’s mom helped shape his plan. The date was set and bookings were made.

So the lying began! Bailey knew the proposal would most likely happen in Houston before the end of this semester so we needed false events to trick her. Alexae, Bailey’s best friend who is getting married in the summer, invited Bailey to help with a fictitious dress fitting over the target weekend. Jett’s mom established a decoy by asking Bailey to work a non-existent event the following weekend. We arranged for Samuel to fly in from Colorado, made all the more complicated as his studies were intense and he had already secretly arranged to fly in the previous weekend for Easter as a surprise for his mom! As the event approached, the fibbing increased, but we decided it was acting rather than lying :).

Jett was blessed to have the dream team by his side. His mom organized the venue and its decoration; Janet made the food for seventy guests; Kylie did the flowers; and Jett’s sisters Ali Ryan and Delaney prepared the proposal venue: a cute gazebo at Brenner’s on the Bayou. While Janet prepared much of the food in the weeks before the event, I steered clear of the kitchen by painting our garage.

The subterfuge increased as the weekend arrived. Life360 trackings had already been paused to confuse Bailey’s sleuthing. With Samuel presumably in Colorado, Bailey’s room mates in Waco, and a full weekend with Alexae arranged, Bailey was convinced that the engagement was not happening this weekend. On Friday, Samuel arrived but stayed with a friend. Kylie used his bedroom as her florist workshop, lockable from the outside once we had found the special key! We hid food in ice chests such that there was no sign of party preparations when Bailey arrived with Jett late Saturday morning. She was staying the night with Alexae, but her departure got delayed past 6pm, squeezing the time for the final preparations that could not start until she left. It was a late night. Janet’s mom and sister and her best friends Stephanie and Tracy arrived to help the following morning. Kylie pivoted off the flowers into the kitchen, building the cake from Janet’s ingredients.

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A proposal with no warning would have prevented Bailey dressing up for the occasion, so Jett decided that Bailey would be woken with the news “this is the day.” Her room mates, Karina and Peyton, came from Waco and joined Alexae in waking Bailey with the news. Jett was on the top of his game and proposed flawlessly in a setting ideally prepared by his sisters. After a light lunch together, the newly-engaged couple reminisced some of their earliest times together with a drive around River Oaks, after which Jett suggested a coffee at a cute little coffee shop.

Meanwhile, we had been preparing the third floor of The Coffee House at West End. We had two hours in the room before the couple’s arrival and we got our exercise climbing the stairs! Transporting “the cake” on my lap while Janet drove some of Houston’s bumpiest streets put my nerves on edge. Jett desperately called Samuel to bring a spare car key after he had lost his at the restaurant. However, everything came together flawlessly.

From the upstairs windows, we watched the couple arrive and joyously walk across the parking lot. Bailey was already on cloud nine without realizing more was coming. Signage suggested this was more than a quiet coffee for the two of them, and the couple were greeted with applause and familial hugs.

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The sorority shrieks deserve their own photo collection.

Jett greeted his friends in a rather more controlled manner, which did not attract the attention of photographer Samuel. However, we noted the influence Bailey has on the attire of the two men in her life!

The deception was complete, and the party was perfect. The venue was ideal and the decoration provided great backdrops for photos.

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The flowers were beautiful and everyone loved the sixteen different treats that Janet had made, including “the best wedding-style cake they’d ever tasted.” Jett rounded off Bailey’s perfect day by taking her to a concert. Despite encouragement, Janet won’t be making a career from her baking, even though she is already a “star baker.” However, Kylie is happy to combine her creativity, drive, and floral design certification to help you with your floral needs. Ask Janet for a reference!

The congratulations that I received from friends and family made me reflect. What had I done? The internet suggests that this is a tradition to acknowledge a parent’s role in guiding their daughter to this point of her life. Bailey has always seemed to resist my guidance, so I’m unsure whether this joyous milestone was because of, or in spite of, my guidance. Janet has been a great mother, only once needing to move out of the house because of Bailey… (Janet insists I add that this was only for one night!) The Lord blessed our family and has provided Bailey direction, leading her to the ideal, godly partner-for-life, Jett.

This marks the beginning of my journey toward “giving away” Bailey next year. Is she mine to give? When Jett formally asked me about marrying our daughter, he asked for my blessing rather than my permission. It thrills me that Jett and Bailey can blend traditions with our modern western culture, keeping the Bible central to their lives, as evidenced by the event’s “guest book” being a Bible where guests highlighted verses with personal messages (thanks Ellie and Abbey for its arrangement). This “giving away” also marks the divergence of our journeys. Bailey and Jett have their own adventurous life to lead, and while at times we will share that journey, they “will leave [their] father and mother…, and the two will become one flesh” (Matt 19:5).